


they think i'm insane

by celeztialist



Category: Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aromantic Character, Aromantic Rey, Other, Panic Attack, aro rey is my fav thing ok? ok, sorry it hurts me too, vaguely canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 21:53:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6488866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeztialist/pseuds/celeztialist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>why does she need a boyfriend, anyway?</p>
            </blockquote>





	they think i'm insane

**Author's Note:**

> two fics? in one day ??!! what is this productive madness  
> a n y w a y i love aromantic rey my tiny bb  
> title from 'strange love' by halsey

the first time someone asks rey if she's got a boyfriend, she's incredibly confused.

"what do you mean?" she asks incredulously; she is only ten standard years of age, after all, and she thinks that love and boyfriends are only for grown ups. the adults around her on jakku laugh, a couple nudging each other and winking, and she just shakes her head and gets back to cleaning the metal parts she's planning to sell for portions.

the subject of a boyfriend is brought up in passing a few times over the next 9 or 10 years, and rey is just as confused as before- why does everyone think she wants, or needs, a boyfriend? she's always been a one person team, and people and the feelings that come with relationships aren't what she needs if she's trying to survive.

the next time rey is directly asked is aboard the _millenium falcon_. she never thought she would be able to say she had boarded the _falcon_ , but here she is, having piloted herself, a droid, and a member of the resistance away from jakku and the stormtroopers that awaited them there.

she is fixing a leak when finn asks her, "so, you got a boyfriend? a cute boyfriend?" it almost sounds like a touch of jealousy, like he believes that rey could find herself a boyfriend. she counts herself lucky that finn is high on endorphins and that she's below ground, for he neither hears nor sees her breath hitch at the question.

the third time rey is asked if she has a boyfriend is by some drunk guy in a bar that finn and poe dragged her to. she's not necessarily complaining about the bar, although it is incredibly crowded and consequently loud, or about the company (finn and poe had recently started dating, and although the thought of two people dating each other made her terrified, she was happy for them). it just throws her off, especially after a drink, and because she has no idea who this man is.

that night, she has a panic attack alone in her room, scared to death at the thought of commitment. after all, she barely remembers her family and the loving familial bonds that went with it. all she knows is how to be alone.

it's two weeks later when rey is approached by general organa by means of an invite to her office. the general, it turns out, is worried for her after communications with master skywalker have told her that rey's performance in jedi training has dipped. many high ranking officials in the resistance have noticed that her constantly lighthearted and happy mood have stopped suddenly, and organa points out that her eyes are lined with dark circles. rey insists that she is fine, that she is sorry, and that her performance will improve, but that she is "just tired, thank you for the concern, general".

she knows she is lying to herself, and she knows that general organa can sense it, but no further questions are asked.

the same day, poe and finn corner her in her room and ask her a barrage of questions, trying to work out what's wrong with her.

and after all her emotions have been bagged up all this time, she bursts.

she explains it all: how being asked if she has a companion of any gender makes her breath hitch, her hands shake, and her heart beat at double time, how the prospect of being with someone and kissing and loving them makes no sense to her- "i'm sure you two are happy, though", she says through tears she hadn't previously noticed- and how much it scares her that dating and marrying someone is what's expected of her. how she thinks she's an alien, even in a galaxy filled with millions of different species who are all respected equally.

poe sits her down, and explains some ideas gently to her. maybe you're just not ready, he suggests, or maybe the commitment is just too much for you, what with your jedi training.

finn interjects. he'd done a lot of reading, when he first arrived on base, about different sexualities and such, a world he- or poe, really- had no idea existed. and somewhere from that wealth of information, one word was remembered that seemed relevant- aromantic. he explains it to the two, and rey just nods slowly and goes looking for any books she can find on the topic. now she knows there are labels, she won't feel complete without having one.

rey researches a lot. so, four days later when she's read every book about not being attracted to anyone that she can find on the base- admittedly, not many- she goes to find poe and finn. after hugging them both, she simply says, "you were right, finn," before walking away.

that doesn't make people hitting on her out of base or the occasional well meaning question whilst she's on missions any less scary, but in her mind, she knows she's not insane.

**Author's Note:**

> haha hope u enjoyed this !!   
> i should probably say that i'm on the aro spec myself, i'm fully aware that most aro people are perfectly comfortable w their sexuality n such, but i feel like if it were to be canon rey would freak out a lil bc it would seem like the norm to like people romantically and if she's aro then she wouldn't feel that? so? idk if that makes sense tell me if u find this problematic in any way  
> comments and kudos make me smile , have a good day friends


End file.
